Any loss can cause grief. Whatever type of loss you’ve suffered, there’s no right or wrong way of grieving. Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges.
The Grieving Process
Grieving is a highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and how significant the loss was to you.
Inevitably, the grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried—and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.
| Myths and facts about grief and grieving |
| Myth: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing, it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it. |
| Myth: It’s important to “be strong” in the face of loss. Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you. |
| Myth: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss. Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it. |
| Myth: Grieving should last about a year. Fact: There is no specific time frame for grieving. How long it takes differs from person to person. |
| Myth: Moving on with your life means forgetting about your loss. Fact: Moving on means you’ve accepted your loss—but that’s not the same as forgetting. You can move on with your life and keep the memory of someone or something you lost as an important part of you. In fact, as we move through life, these memories can become more and more integral to defining the people we are. |
How To Deal With The Grieving Process
While grieving a loss is an inevitable part of life, there are ways to help cope with the pain, come to terms with your grief, and eventually, find a way to pick up the pieces and move on with your life.
- Acknowledge your pain.
- Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions.
- Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you.
- Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.
- Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically.
- Recognize the difference between grief and depression.
helpguide.org – coping with grief and loss
Additional Ways of Navigating The Grieving Process
- Be patient with yourself. Do not compare yourself to others. Go through mourning at your own pace.
- Admit you are hurting and go with the pain.
- Apply cold or heat to your body, whichever feels best.
- Ask for and accept help.
- Talk to others.
- Face the loss.
- Stop asking “Why?” and ask, “What will I do now?”
- Recognize that a bad day does not mean that all is lost.
- Rest
- Exercise
- Keep to a routine.
- Introduce pleasant changes into your life.
- Know that you will survive.
- Take care of something alive, such as a plant or a pet.
- Schedule activities to help yourself get through weekends and holidays.
- Find someone who needs your help.
- Accept your feelings as part of the normal grief reaction.
- Postpone major decisions whenever possible.
- Do something you enjoy doing.
- Write in a journal.
- Be around people.
- Schedule time alone.
- Do not overdo.
- Eat regularly.
Linda’s Testimony of Loss and Survival
Loss and Grief — The Land Between: Finding God in Difficult Transitions