I know God answers prayers and I know God can answer the way I want. But just because He can doesn’t mean He will.
I know You can, but I don’t know if You will.
My fear was that You wouldn’t, and I would have to endure this trial and pain all my life.
I cried out to You in despair from the deepest depths of my soul.
Broken after all my attempt to escape had ended in failure.
Broken, worn down, bettered, and bruised after enduring for so long.
What if God doesn’t rescue? What if I am never free?
I don’t want to live like this anymore. All the pain and suffering.
Please, Lord, don’t let it be.
My fear was not unspoken, not hidden away in my mind.
I said these words in the open. God knew anyway.
God answers prayers – yes, wait, or no.
I wanted yes. I needed yes, not wait, especially not no.
God’s answer came quickly once I stepped aside and let Him take control.
“Yes, my child, I hear you. I’ve been waiting for you to call.
So much needless hurt, so much wasted time and energy because you kept trying to control, because you wouldn’t let go.
I would have given you comfort. I would have given you peace. I would have given you strength, had you only given the problem to me.
You are free now. Time to heal and replenish your soul.”
I am free. There is peace. It is well with my soul.
No one is immune from experiencing a traumatic event. Some events are more traumatic than others. And some can go on for months, even years. They can wear us down to the point where we don’t have the strength to fight anymore. We can go into survival mode.
Maybe the occurrences aren’t constant. Maybe there is a break in between them. With each quiet period or breather, maybe we though it was over. But with each new occurrence, more damage is done to our minds, emotions, and bodies.
The longer this goes on (months, years), the less it takes for our bodies to react negatively. A small occurrence can cause us to experience a large amount of stress such as tightening in the chest and trouble breathing to name a few. Even during the quiet periods, trouble sleeping can be common. We can live feeling like we’re walking on eggshells wondering and waiting for the next occurrence.
Do we have some responsibility for ending/stopping whatever it is we are dealing with? Yes, of course we do. We need to reach out, seek help. The help we seek depends on the issues we are facing. Sometimes it’s as simple as having a friend we can talk to. Sometimes we need to seek medical advice. Sometimes it can require getting the law involved. But the first place we should go for help is to the Lord in prayer.
Is prayer the only thing we can do when it comes to God? Prayer isn’t the only thing. It’s THE THING. God answers prayers. But understand, God can answer yes, wait, or no, according to His will.
I find myself repeating these words – Let your faith be greater than your fear. And I turn to Philippians 4:6-7.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Living With Pain and Suffering
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